I really need this, today.

I felt comfortable coming out of my p- exam. Overall I thought it was decent and not incredibly hard, although I had to guess a few things. My friend thought it was very difficult which got me wondering. Usually when I think something was incredibly hard I end up surviving. But I’ll think something was easy or not bad and turns out I either didn’t do as well as I thought…or a LOT worse than that, even.

So I don’t know, and I won’t until next week, but maaaan. People have been talking about it and about some questions and it’s so frustrating because I’ve worked really hard on bringing my grade up and if I didn’t pass this exam than I’ll have failed the class and would have to make it up over the summer and that would really suck.

And b-chem today ripped my heart out. It was terrible. Some of the things I guessed on, I got wrong. The rest? I don’t even remember, THAT is how much guessing I did. I’m super worried. I was just so exhausted after 2 brutal exams.

So I need to focus on gratitude, again.

For the sake of my sanity.

I’m grateful that in all my studying, I did some studying for tomorrow’s exam and that other classes prepared me for a few of them. I’m grateful that I was able to study for the lab practical with J’s crew. We were there for 2.5 hours so I REALLY hope to do well to hopefully makeup for whatever second guessing I did on that exam. I’m grateful for having their company for dinners, it’s entertaining and I feel a little less alone.

I’m grateful that there’s only one more day and then I’m going with them to the city on friday and then I’M GOING HOME. OH, HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO BE ABLE TO GO HOME FOR THREE WEEKS. CUPCAKES, HERE I COME!!!!

I’m grateful for my family and their continued support. They’ve been amazing. I really feel that despite being disappointed, they’ll still support me even if I fail that one class.

I’m grateful for my health, and for having the privilege to be here. I’m grateful for the chance, for getting to do what I love.

I’m grateful for trash TV and fanfic that I can read to cheer myself up.

I’m grateful to be alive and breathing.

I’m grateful for my faith, for when I work hard and know I’ve done everything i possibly could in my classes, I know He is watching and has a plan for me. That this is where I’m supposed to be, and whatever I do, I must keep going — I’m not a quitter. And I worked too hard to get here.

I’m grateful for the roof above my head, for refreshing naps, for coffee and energy bars, for food (especially sushi). I’m grateful for Adele. Her album is absolutely wonderful.

One more day. I can do this, right?

I really hope so.


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